I Would Die 4 U

I might be hated/ annoying for this… but it’s my best friend’s birthday (MINE!) A little back story of how I became my own best friend… It’s not as narcissistic as it sounds.

My parents both worked full time jobs when I was growing up so my grandmother would watch my brother and I (along with my cousins) everyday 8AM-5PM Monday-Friday. We’re a close Mexican family, so we’d always be together on the weekends too. My grandmother passed away when I was 6 years old. It was a pivotal moment in my life for many reasons – but the biggest one – is that it shaped me into me. 

I tried to understand the world around me and I tried to understand what it meant to die. I wondered where this woman who I loved so deeply had gone. I remember sitting in my room, trying to understand it all. I was told that she was in heaven, but what WAS heaven? I was told that she was an angel but what IS an angel? I was told that she was with God, but WHO is God? These thoughts consumed me.

There was one moment that I’ll forever remember. I was playing with some toys in my room, then I began to daze off. I wondered if I was even real. I walked by my dresser (that had a mirror attached) and I observed myself. I remember wondering, “is this me?” I felt my inner world (thoughts/emotions) and I saw my outer world (physical body) inside the mirror. (I thought my spirit and my physical body were separate from each other.) I then placed my finger in my dresser drawer and closed the drawer lightly on my finger (to test if I felt it/ to see if it was me) I felt it, and I saw it happening in the mirror! I came to the conclusion that – IT WAS ME! I partnered my spirit with my body and unconsciously made a pact to love each other endlessly.

So we’re 25 today and I’m SO thankful for this journey. I’m thankful for: my health, senses, mobility, happiness, safety. (I saved the rest for my personal journal) I’m so thankful for the health/safety of my loved ones. You don’t know this, but I’m always asking God to bless everyone with happiness, too. I’m in tears just thinking of how grateful I am.

THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. WHETHER YOU BOUGHT A BOOK, SHARED A POST, OR SIMPLY JUST LIKED/COMMENTED/ SPREAD WORD OF MY WORK. I’M SO SO SO THANKFUL!

25 down – infinity to go.